March 2020. I was having a severe allergic reaction after getting chemically disinfected on a flight back to the states the day before a travel ban went into effect.
Dizzy from lack of oxygen, I curled in fear in my daughter’s bed.
Wheezing in the tiniest thread of air through my tightened airways, one thought looped on repeat, “I cannot die yet; I haven’t finished my work.”
Although I was swamped with terror, a part of me was still connected to my source of innate wisdom. This part was whispering that I would be Ok if I could drop the fear. So while my daughter was trying to convince me to let her take me to the ER, I did the only sensible thing I could think of to do: I called my brother, David.
Several miracles followed in quick succession.
First miracle. He actually answered his phone 🙂 – I managed to gasp out the necessary details in a hoarse whisper, something along the lines of “breathed poison, freaking out, help!”
“Drop the fear,” he reminded me, ”Your animal body is innately intelligent and knows exactly what to do to heal itself. It is simply responding to your fear. Decide that your lungs are Ok.”
Next miracle. His calming words were able to penetrate my panic. I remembered the Universal Law of Attention: what you focus on expands. The more I thought about breathing in something toxic, the tighter my lungs had gotten. Of course, my animal body was simply responding to my fears of inhaling more poison.
I began speaking gently to my body, “It’s alright. You’re safe. The air is clean. Your lungs are Ok now.”
Third miracle. My body responded nearly instantly by going into an accelerated healing process. My lungs contracted tightly to squeeze out the excess mucus. There was a sharp smell of peppermint, followed by a searing sensation down my entire airway. Then one more tight contraction where I held my breath for about a full minute, and then a gentle pop. The invisible vise on my lungs and airway released. Within 10 minutes, I was able to breathe normally.
Fear weakens. Love strengthens.
As I integrate this knowledge for the thousandth-something time in this lifetime, I remind myself that instead of going into a panic when I get scared, I can always choose love.