Do you have a part of yourself that you cannot stand?
You will hear people say, ‘Ugh, I hate it when I say that – I sound just like my father!’ ‘Yikes! I’m turning into my mother.’ ‘Just ignore that. It was my evil twin.’ And, ‘Excuse me while I go put a sock in my mouth.’
These (usually embarrassing) moments are a good indication that a person has a disowned aspect of their personality still waiting to be identified and accepted. If there is any part of yourself you’d like to change, any part of yourself you dislike, or any behavior or thought pattern that isn’t supporting you, chances are excellent that you have an aspect of yourself that is residing outside of the Loving.
Why do you need to know about aspects or sub-personalities in order to evolve spiritually? Simply put, all of your parts must be brought into the light in order for you to up-level into a higher vibration. The process of enlightenment is often called Self-Realization or Self-Actualization, because you must realize – ‘make real’ or ‘make actual’ – every part of yourself in order to feel the whole of your Being.
The bottom line is that your soul does not want your sub-personalities to suffer by remaining in the dark. Instead, it wants nothing more than for all parts of you to be seen, acknowledged and accepted, to be brought into the light and to live in the Loving where the parts of yourself already accepted reside.
What I discovered was that there was no way to elude the parts of my personality that were definitely not in alignment with my soul’s purpose, or even in line with my own core values and rational beliefs. After steeping in pure joy during my out-of-body awakening experience, beyond anything, I wanted to again feel totally at peace within myself. I wanted to live in that sense of peace and freedom, and I knew it was possible; not only was it possible for me to live in peace, it was actually imperative for me to do so in order to fulfill my life’s purpose. And yet I was excruciatingly aware that there were parts of myself – many parts – that weren’t experiencing peace. Initially, the idea of exploring and accepting these parts was pretty uncomfortable, because for so long I had judged them as ‘bad’.
Understand that at the level of the soul, no part of yourself is viewed as bad or wrong. However, to the degree that the part has been pushed away and label as ‘wrong’, ‘bad’ or ‘unacceptable’, it will continue to act out in such a way as to prove its own lack of worth and lack of acceptability. In other words, poor behavior is the natural and inevitable result of ignoring or suppressing disowned aspects of self. If you keep a part of your personality in a dank, dark prison of despair, how could you possibly be surprised when that part responds like a fugitive?
As crazy as it may seem, the only way to make peace with every part of your personality is to reach out with love and embrace the disowned aspects with compassionate acceptance. This means that you must embrace the fugitive part of yourself; no matter how dirty, disheveled or smelly he appears in your mind, open your arms and invite him into the Loving. As he gradually gets used to the light, he will begin to adapt to better care for himself, moving from smelly and dirty to clean and well-kempt, and to feel better about himself. This is what happens when we embrace our darkest parts.
For some people, this may feel like a big stretch. It is Ok to start with baby steps, maybe begin by sending the fugitive a letter in prison, or go visit the cell block before allowing your aspect to be paroled. You can start however you feel comfortable connecting to these aspects that reside in the dark. Remember, there is no right or wrong way to accept your aspects. I highly recommend, however you go about this, to not take it too seriously. Be light about it!
Do you have a part of yourself that you have not wanted to accept? A part that makes you cringe, feel embarrassed, feel pitied or some other uncomfortable feeling? Be willing to look deeply at yourself.
Whether you know it or not, you are still very likely to have some disowned aspects of your personality waiting to be brought into the light and the Loving.
Discovering your various sub-personalities can be an adventure, like a scavenger hunt! I encourage you to approach this topic with as much enthusiasm and humor as you can muster. The funnier you can make this, the easier it will be to accept and integrate all of your parts into your Loving Self. If accessing humor is a stretch, pour on extra compassion. Whatever is present, just be sure to reach out with Love. Say, ‘I am now connecting with the parts of myself I’ve judged as bad or unacceptable with lots of Love and humor.’
Many Blessings of Joy and Vibrant Freedom
Action Step ~ Identify one part of yourself that you have disowned in the past and reach out to that part with Love, compassion and humor (if you can access it).
Declaration: “I am now identifying a part of myself that has been stuck in the dark and reaching out in Loving connection. I now accept myself fully. I Love myself no matter what.”