Have you ever done something shocking or even appalling, and you just couldn’t figure out why you did what you did?
The news is filled with reports of people’s errant behavior; the child molester who everyone agrees ‘seems like such a nice guy’. The upstanding cop who beats his wife in private, the married minister who seduces vulnerable members of his flock, the teacher who has a flaming affair with her middle school student, the prim secretary who cuts loose in Vegas, and so on.
These are all stories of people who have had the experience of a disowned aspect of self jumping into the driver’s seat and taking control of the wheel. It happens all the time, as there is no way to suppress a disowned aspect, no sure-fire way to control a part of our self that we’ve been suppressing from coming to light.
Understand that your soul does not want you to stay small, stuck or hidden in any way, and as long as there is any part of you that continues to hide, avoid, ignore, deny, defend or otherwise deflect your issues, these disowned parts will be clamoring inside you for your attention.
If you choose to act like the ostrich and put your head in the sand, that won’t stop your sub-personalities from wreaking havoc upon your life; to the contrary! Ignoring your sub-personalities or repressing them actually causes them to act out more emphatically. When this happens, you will feel totally out of control in your own life. It will feel as if someone else has grabbed your internal wheel and taken over driving your body vehicle.
Now, my examples were of dramatic behavior, yet each of us experiences our own degree of separation uniquely. You may not be an abusive spouse, but you may occasionally scream at your children or spouse in a way that you instantly regret and feel bad about. You may not be a child molester, but you may have some level of guilt or shame around sex that causes you to behave mechanically in some way. You may not be anorexic/bulimic, but you may notice that you cannot stop yourself from using sugar, wine, coffee or cigarettes for comfort or to alleviate stress or boredom.
I can own that I’ve had a part of my personality act out in a way that felt beyond my control way more times than most people would be comfortable admitting.
There were times I erratically snapped at people in anger. Times I dropped into a depression and couldn’t even respond to my own child’s question. Times I had so much resistance I couldn’t force myself to do something if my life depended upon it. Times I said mean things for unknown reasons that I immediately regretted. Times I did things that made no sense to me in that moment. Times I sabotaged relationships and jobs for no apparent reason. I could fill volumes on the subject, but you get the idea.
Have you ever had that happen? Had a part of your personality act out in a way that felt beyond your control? Be willing to take a deep, honest look at yourself.
For myself, once I understood that I’d been repressing parts of my own personality for years and trying to change my unhealthy behaviors to no avail, I took a deep breath, metaphorically bit the bullet and took full responsibility for all of my parts of my own personality, no matter what.
This was life-changing for me, some of the most liberating work I’ve ever done. As a result, I feel whole, complete, congruent, and I live in peace.
As soon as you are ready and willing to take responsibility for yourself, you can choose to begin the process of integrating any disowned aspects of your personality into the Love and acceptance of your heart. Say, “I’m willing to take responsibility for any parts of myself that I’ve left in the dark.”
Many Blessings of Joy and Vibrant Freedom
Action Step ~ Take full 100% responsibility for any disowned aspects of your personality that you unknowingly put out in the dark.
Declaration: “I am now willing to take full responsibility for any parts of myself that I have disowned or left out in the dark.”