Do you ever become aware of a self-judgment then get down on yourself because you believe that it is really true?
These are some of the most painful moments a person can have on the journey of self-realization. ‘My friend said I was mean… It is true! I am a mean person.’ ‘My daughter told me I was a self-centered workaholic… She’s right. All I think about is myself. I’m a self-centered bastard.’ ‘I can’t believe I just did that… that was so stupid. I am so stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid me.’
The suffering comes from believing that you are your judgment. This is what is known as forming an attachment to a particular label as your identity. The way out of the pain is to begin to detach, to separate yourself from whatever label you’ve glommed onto.
To help dissociate from identifying with particularly strong judgments, you can use the words ‘thinking’, ‘feeling’ and ‘acting’ instead of ‘being’. You can begin to do this in your own stream of consciousness as you neutrally observe your own thoughts.
The next time you catch yourself thinking something like, ‘I am so mean’, you can amend that thought with, ‘I felt mean for a moment there, and I know I am not my feelings’. Or ‘I acted meanly, and I know I am not my behavior.’ This will immediately help to separate you from the self-judgment, and will allow you to quickly move into letting the judgment go; ‘I forgive myself for judging myself as mean. The truth is that was just a feeling. I am really a Loving Being, and I am connected to the source of infinite caring, infinite compassion. I am a kind, caring, compassionate Being, etc’.
When forgiving self-judgment, the key to releasing it is to simply acknowledge that the judgment was just a temporary feeling, not who you really are; who you really are is a soul in a body, and you have always been Loving on the Being level.
Now throughout this blog you’ve probably heard me repeatedly say that it doesn’t matter how you say something, that your intention is everything and that the words you choose to use are not so important. There is usually an exception to everything, and here I will say that the language you use when clearing your judgments makes a difference. It is important to avoid using ‘being’ words when making a self-forgiveness declaration, because on the Being level, your essence is pure Love, not your judgmental thoughts or words.
Let me give a specific example: If the judgment is ‘stupid’, do your best to avoid saying ‘being’ statements like this, “I forgive myself for being stupid”, because on the Being level, you are not stupid. Avoid using any tense of the Being word, such as, “I forgive myself for having been stupid” or “I forgive myself for the times I was stupid”. You have never been, nor ever will be, stupid on the Being level. Nor have you been or ever will be any other judgment you may have identified with in your lifetime.
The way you word your self-forgiveness is important when clearing judgment, because when you use any form of ‘being’ words in a forgiveness statement, what you are essentially doing is validating the judgment as ‘true’.
If you take out the ‘being’ words, an effective self-forgiveness statement would sound like, ‘I forgive myself for judging myself as stupid.’ Specifically, I recommend that you use the word ‘as’ followed by the judgment or labeling word. Then you would state your truth. Here, you can use ‘I am’ language freely.
The words ‘I AM’ are powerful, identifying, co-creative words that create your reality in every given moment, so I encourage you to begin to only use them in positive, empowering and self-supportive statements. Use ‘being’ words freely when you update your new beliefs or state your truth, claiming things like “I AM connected to my source of infinite intelligence. I AM the Loving, etc.”
Are there any judgmental labels that you’ve attached to as a part of your identity? These would be judgments you’ve believed that you are, such as ‘I am stupid’ or ‘I am selfish’. Take a moment and reflect on any judgments you’ve closely identified with up until now.
The truth is that you are not any judgmental labels, no matter how long you have spent convincing yourself that you are that thing. Your essence is Loving, and at the Being level, you are already free. It is just a matter of remembering that. Say, “I now know that I am not any judgmental labels I have taken on in the past. I am a Loving Being.”
Many Blessings of Joy and Vibrant Freedom
Action Step ~ Begin to detach from your self-judgments by inserting ‘thinking’, ‘feeling’ and ‘acting’ words in the place of any ‘being’ words. Reserve the use of ‘being’ words to describe your essential Self, your divine Loving nature at the Being level.
Declaration: “I now know that I am separate from any judgmental labels I may have identified with in the past. I am a divine Loving Being.”