Do you ever think other people are better than you?
Everyday you will hear people say things like, ‘My roommate is smarter than me’, ‘Other people are more important than I am’, ‘I wish I was as talented as that guy’, and ‘I’m not as attractive as she is’.
Another common type of irrationality is the comparison, thoughts that measure things as ‘more’ or ‘less’, ‘better’ or ‘worse’, and ‘stronger than’ or ‘weaker than’. Comparisons are a way of putting yourself or someone else down, creating a low, painful vibration and negative feeling-response.
Most of us were raise on comparisons. We were measured against other babies in the nursery. We were measured against other students in grade school. We were measured against other children in sports, ballet or music. We were measured if we joined and measured if we didn’t. To this day, I have yet to meet someone who did not suffer in some way due to internalizing some kind of comparison and creating an irrational belief about themselves based on what happened.
I made dozens of these irrational beliefs as a child. One particular memory caused me to cringe in embarrassment for years. I was enrolled in piano lessons when I was about 10 years old just a few weeks before the annual spring concert. The teacher shared her rule that every student had to perform. I wanted to wait until after the concert to begin lessons, as I was barely able to peck out Mary had a Little Lamb. But my mother insisted I begin the lessons as well as perform in the show. I’m sure she felt she was supporting me to shine, but I knew it was a disaster just waiting to happen.
The day that the concert had arrived, my classmates – who’d all been taking lessons since they were 5 – flawlessly performed long, complicated pieces by Chopin and Mozart. Then came my turn. Already viewing myself as ‘worthless’ in comparison to the other students, I began to slowly peck out my simple song with one hand. The other children burst out laughing. My piano teacher shushed them repeatedly as I shakily persevered, messing up several times to more peals of laughter. The second I finished I ran from the room in tears of humiliation. I decided right there that everybody was better than I was, and that I would never be as talented as my classmates.
Any kind of comparison that makes you feel bad or less-than in any way does not serve you in the least. It is vital, when becoming rational, to remember that we are all uniquely different. If I had been able to view my piano concert rationally as a child, I would have realized that there was no way to compare a person who’d been performing for years with someone who’d had a couple of lessons. I would have been able to see that my classmates were not better than me as people, only more experienced at piano, and that I could learn to play that well if I applied myself.
The truth is that there is no better-than or less-than from the Loving perspective, only equality and uniqueness. To be free of beliefs based on comparison, you can let go of needing or wanting to be the same or better than anyone else in any way; simply focus on being yourself. You can absolutely be the best ‘you’ that you can be. If you have a competitive streak, you can compete with yourself, noticing your own improvement as you learn and grow. Dropping the comparisons will allow you the freedom to fully express to your own highest potential.
This does not mean that you cannot use others to inspire you – to the contrary. You will become much more inspired when you cease to compare, and rather see the beauty, the skill, and the success in others as something that you can aspire to as well. Rather than limiting yourself by comparing, you can begin to be open to the possibility that there is enough of everything to go around. From now on, when you see something you admire, simply think, ‘I love that’.
In what ways do you compare yourself as less than others? I encourage you to look deeply at each area of your life: character, appearance, family, relationships, career, finances, intellect, talents, material possessions, etc.
If it is a talent you feel you lack, drop the unfavorable comparison and simply decide that you can cultivate that talent if you feel inspired to do so. If it is not your calling to develop that talent, just accept that you are talented in a different way.
If it is a quality of character that you admire, claim you already have it inside of you. Then begin to cultivate that quality until you have embodied it fully.
If it is something someone has that you want, such as a car, a bigger bank account, a relationship, or a degree, say, ‘I can have that, too.’ Then set an intention to manifest it into your life, and follow your guidance to take whatever steps are necessary to create it.
Know that it is much easier to thrive when you can let go of measuring yourself up against anyone else. Say, “I let go of comparing myself to anyone else. Everyone is uniquely different.”
Many Blessings of Joy and Vibrant Freedom
Action Step ~ Let go of irrational beliefs based on comparisons, coming into your own equality and uniqueness as a one-of-a-kind divine Being.
Declaration: “I now drop all comparison and embrace my own equality and uniqueness. From now on, I can simply be myself to my own highest potential.”
Additional support: Listen to this 9-minute closed-eye process on identifying irrational ‘comparisons’; please refrain from driving while listening.