Do you ever view something as ‘good’ and therefore determine that that is the way things should be? Or that other people should agree with your idea of what is ‘good’?
What about things that you think are ‘bad’?
You’ve likely heard admonishments such as, ‘You need to be a good girl’, ‘Good boys don’t hit’, ‘Good girls don’t wear makeup’ and ‘Good boys don’t cry’.
Because we are so indoctrinated with the whole good/bad notion, children will think things like, ‘If I’m good, I won’t be punished’, ‘If I’m good, I’ll make everyone happy’ and ‘If I am really, really good, then ____ (fill in the blank: Santa will come, the tooth fairy will visit, my momma won’t die, my daddy will love me, etc).’
Then, inevitably, life happens. The child will get punished, people will be unhappy and something the child judges as ‘bad’ will occur, such as the parents getting a divorce. The child will automatically think, ‘It is my fault. I wasn’t good enough. I must be very bad.”
Then there is the bad side of the coin. You’ve likely heard admonishments such as, ‘It is bad manners to _____’, ‘only bad people use profanity’, ‘bad boys deserve to be whipped’, and ‘bad girls get what they ask for’.
Children hear these things and internalize them, believing all sorts of reason why they must be bad such as, ‘I am a bad person since I _____ (fill in the blank)’, ‘Because _____ (fill in the blank) thinks I’m bad, that means it is true’, ‘Bad people go to hell’ and ‘If I do something bad, I deserve to _____ (fill in the blank: suffer, die, rot in hell, be punished, feel guilty, etc.).
Beliefs that are based on ‘good’ or ‘bad’ are another fairly obvious type of irrationality that you may be harboring unconsciously, based on what you saw, heard or experienced as a child. ‘Good’/‘bad’ beliefs are limiting because, just like right/wrong beliefs, they fall under either/or, black & white thinking, creating a dividing line between what is acceptable or unacceptable.
The problem with good/bad is who gets to decide where that line goes? The parent? The teacher? The society? The government? The religion? What happens when people cannot agree on where the line is drawn? And what happens when someone crosses the line from ‘good’ into ‘bad’? Who gets to decide the consequences? The parent? The teacher? The society? The government? The religion?
Beliefs based on good/bad create enormous suffering for all involved.
People who are homosexual are afraid to live openly for fear of going from the ‘good’ side of the line to the ‘bad’ in someone’s eyes. Children who are sexually abused are afraid to tell someone because they are certain what happened to them was really ‘bad’. People who don’t like what is happening in the world are afraid to speak up for fear that they’ll somehow be punished as ‘bad’ for not going along with the status quo. And billions of people suffer daily from low self esteem because they were put on the ‘bad’ side of the line by someone they loved.
It is well past time that we, as a collective, get out of good/bad thinking and come into the mindset of infinite Love and acceptance. That we begin to live openly, authentically. That we begin to freely speak our truth. And that we begin to view ourselves and all others as acceptable.
The truth from your soul’s perspective is that there is no dividing line because there is no such thing as ‘good’ or ‘bad’. There are no ‘good’ or ‘bad’ people; there are only people. There are not certain people who deserve to be punished and certain people who deserve to be rewarded; there are only people who are learning and growing, and they all get to experience the natural outcome of their choices, whatever those choices may be.
Where in your mind are you holding onto beliefs that are locked in ‘good’ or ‘bad’? I encourage you to take a few moments to reflect on this.
If you are normal, you may come up with a very long list. Not to worry, this is the natural result of being raised in a fear-based, right/wrong reality. Be gentle with yourself as these irrational beliefs surface in your awareness. Simply note each belief as it arises, apply compassion and create a new, more accepting belief for yourself. Say, “I let go of holding onto beliefs of good or bad, and I move into a state of acceptance.”
Many Blessings of Joy and Vibrant Freedom
Action Step ~ Spend a few moments writing down beliefs you have held locked in good or bad and let these go. Apply compassion and come up with some new, more inclusive, accepting beliefs.
Declaration: “I now let go of holding onto beliefs based on good or bad, and I move into a state of infinite acceptance, viewing myself, all others and all things from a perspective of Loving. We are all just learning and growing.”