Have you ever tried to feel compassion for yourself but felt like you were just giving it lip-service?
This is a common occurrence on the journey of evolution.
People who are awake will often talk a good talk long before they actually learn how to walk their talk. This is normal. It can take time to learn to apply the necessary tools to create lasting change. The tool of compassion, while so beautifully simple, is often the most challenging energy to access.
You will see people who preach peace beating themselves up inside when they don’t feel at peace. People who say that mistakes are Ok will be criticizing themselves for what they perceive to be their own imperfections. People who talk about the value of good nutrition will be getting down on themselves for having one bite of a decadent dessert. People who are committed to living sustainably will be guilt-tripping over the one time they forget to bring their own shopping bag. You get the idea.
The deal is that what you resist persists. This means that until you can melt the internal resistance with compassion, you may find yourself giving lots of lip-service toward whatever is upsetting your inner peace.
At times when I was not able to access compassion for myself inside of myself, I stayed ‘stuck’ in my old belief, which caused repetitive fear-based thoughts to arise which subsequently led to feeling awful inside. I could mentally pay lip service to a new belief a hundred times, repeat positive affirmations until my face was blue, but the old belief would not lift until I was able to access the energy of compassion and actually feel the compassionate self-forgiveness on the inside for the suffering this belief had caused me.
I can remember finding it easy to apply compassion to the parts of myself that felt hurt. But when I was faced with the parts of myself that had acted out and caused others harm, forget it. It was very challenging to muster any compassion for myself.
Yet, hurt and hurtful are just two sides of the same coin. Someone who feels hurt will often lash out at others – this is a normal, natural response. If I could have compassion for myself for times when I was feeling hurt, couldn’t I also have compassion for myself for times when I acted out from that place of hurt? There was a part of me that emphatically replied ‘No’.
Because I now knew the power of listening internally with compassion, I was able to respond with Loving, “I hear that. I hear that you think that if you hurt someone you don’t deserve compassion… can you tell me more about why not?” Because I was holding in Love and neutrality, this part of my consciousness was able to blurt out a whole string of reasons. “Because it’s not Ok to hurt people. Hurting people is bad, wrong, unacceptable, uncaring, mean, stupid…”
Here, I could see that as long as there was a part of myself that was still holding in right/wrong about my past behavior, viewing what I’d done as not Ok or unacceptable, I wouldn’t be able to view that part of myself with compassion, and I’d stay stuck in suffering. So, I had to work with the critical part of myself that was still stuck in the right/wrong perspective first, applying lots of compassion for all of the judgmental, good/bad thinking I’d bought into. Only after I’d applied tons of healing compassion to my inner critic was that part able to relent and soften enough to allow me to embrace the hurtful part.
Are you withholding compassion for any part of yourself that you think is undeserving? Be willing to look deeply to see where you are still beating yourself up inside.
Compassion is the most important part of the process of updating your belief system. If you want freedom, you will need to persist until you feel compassion toward yourself in each and every situation that brings you suffering.
The truth is that every part of you is Loving, no matter how you have acted, and every part of you deserves to receive your own compassion. Getting compassion to all parts can sometimes require patience, lots of listening to yourself and repeat application.
Incredibly, as you apply compassion to yourself regularly, the old fear-based beliefs will begin to eagerly lift and new, healthier ones will quickly take hold. Each time you integrate a new belief, your fear-based thinking will lessen and your positive, supportive thinking will begin to come more naturally. Say, “All of my parts are worthy of compassion. I now apply my compassion liberally.”
Many Blessings of Joy and Vibrant Freedom
Action Step ~ Let go of beating yourself up and begin to apply the compassion liberally to every part of your consciousness. Declaration: “Every part of me is Loving, and that includes the parts of me that are still stuck in suffering. In order to heal, I now respond by applying compassion liberally – wherever it is needed – within my own consciousness.”
Additional support: Listen to this 8-minute closed-eye process on applying compassion repeatedly as needed until you receive it; please refrain from driving while listening.