Have you ever felt like all of your romantic relationships have failed you? That you’ll never find Mr. or Mrs. Right? Or that you’ll never have the kind of relationship you deserve?
Some people just give up on love and either settle for a less-than-satisfactory relationship or decide to live life alone. Others become serial seekers, burning through relationships as if they were eating a bag of potato chips.
You’ll hear people in unhappy relationships say things like, “He’s really married to the remote; I just happen to live here and do food delivery.” “All she cares about is money – can you believe she wanted me to buy a new couch?”
Single people who say, “I keep choosing my father. What’s up with that?” Or, “I always seem to pick the wrong person.”
From your soul’s perspective, there has never been anything ‘wrong’ with your love-relationships; they have always simply been a reflection of your own need for healing. What this means – once you are spiritually awake – is that in order to cultivate a loving, caring, healthy relationship, you must first be willing to take 100% personal responsibility for whatever you have been manifesting up until now.
Here is how this works: All relationship is a mirror. The universal law states, ‘As within, so without’. Therefore, if I am feeling unworthy inside of myself, I am naturally going to attract someone who treats me like crap. If I am not listening to myself or honoring my own needs, I am going to attract someone who does not listen to me, does not care about what I think or what I need. If I have am bad with money, I’m going to naturally attract someone who doesn’t like the way I manage money, or someone who is stingy or overspends or whatever. I speak from real personal experience as in the past I attracted all of the above.
The bottom line is that your partner will always trigger up your own spiritual curriculum. If you are awake and aware, instead of pointing the finger, you have the ability to look deeply at yourself, to ask yourself, “Why is this thing my partner does so irritating to me?” So hurtful, disappointing, crazy-making or whatever the trigger.
If you refuse to look at yourself, you will simply stay stuck in blame and misery. What happens if you repeatedly blame your partner without taking any personal responsibility is that energies of anger and resentment will begin to accumulate, building a dividing wall between the two of you. The wall will eventually grow so tall and so thick that there can be no intimacy, no openness, and eventually no honest, healthy communication of any kind.
Have you ever felt a wall between yourself and a romantic partner? Take a moment to reflect on your current or past love-relationships. What kinds of things did your partner mirror for you that were a reflection of your own needs for healing?
The good news is that once you grasp this concept and take full 100% responsibility for yourself, you can move from feeling unfulfilled to feeling deeply fulfilled, attracting the kind of relationship you’ve always wanted.
If you are currently in a relationship, your connection will begin to instantly change for the better. Instead of looking to change or fix your partner, you can place the focus of change inside of yourself. If there is anything that your partner is doing that you do not like, you can ask yourself, “How does this thing relate to me? How am I attracting this? In what ways do I do this to myself or others?” As you resolve the issue internally, you will come into neutrality. At this point, one of three things will happen; your partner will continue to do the triggering thing and it will no longer bother you; your partner will continue to do the same thing and you will respond differently, perhaps set a boundary or decide to leave the relationship; or, your partner’s behavior will change completely, mirroring whatever new energies you are now emitting.
If you are single and seeking a relationship, you can use memories of past relationships to heal old triggers, upsets and patterns of communicating. You can also write out a list of qualities – such as integrity, commitment, intimacy, humor – you most desire to find in a partner, then own them one by one, asking yourself honestly, “How much do I emit this myself?” If you are lacking in any area internally, you won’t be able to attract this quality in a partner. So spend some good time cultivating the qualities you wish to attract.
To have the love-relationship you’ve always desired, be willing to take full 100% responsibility for whatever you have been experiencing in your relationship up until now. Own your triggers of upset, and see what kind of energy you are putting out that may be attracting whatever it is you do not like. Then, make a commitment to change yourself. As you respond differently within the relationship by taking full ownership of your upsets, walls will come down, communication will improve and your mirror will begin to change for the better in every way.
Many Blessings of Joy and Vibrant Freedom
Action Step ~ Let go of blaming you partner for your own relationship triggers and take full 100% responsibility for your own reactions. Declaration: “I am 100% responsible for my own thoughts, feelings and reactions within my relationship. My partner is a mirror for my needs for healing. My stuff is my own, and I have the ability to change anything I do not like inside of myself.”
Additional Support: Listen to this 9-minute closed-eye process on taking full responsibility for what you attract in your relationship; please refrain from driving while listening.