Do you ever beat yourself up inside over things you’ve said or done in the past?
“I can’t believe I did that!” “I’m so stupid for saying that.” “If only I could do that over again…” Many people spend lots of time entertaining guilt and regret, whether about things that happened recently or old memories from the past.
I once knew a woman who had been beating herself up for over thirty years for something she had done as a young child. She felt that she was a terrible, horrible, rotten person, and that she should feel bad about herself forever. When I asked her how she would feel if her own child had done the same thing, she burst out laughing. “I never thought of it that way.” she exclaimed, “I certainly wouldn’t want her to feel guilty for her entire life.”
Regret is an energy that is draining and depleting because we can’t undo what’s already been done. Guilt is a feeling that is based on the completely irrational idea that you’ve ever done anything wrong.
Since there is no one right or wrong way to do anything, this means that however you decide to do something is alright from your soul’s perspective. Your soul is simply learning and growing.
Here’s how it works: you take an action. You experience the consequences of that action. You learn. It is pretty simple. If you like the results of your action, you’ll likely do that thing again. If you didn’t like the results of your action, you have the opportunity to choose differently next time.
You’ve never done anything wrong. Whatever has occurred for you in your life has been Ok, no matter what has happened.
Now, you may be thinking, “But there was a voice inside of me that said ‘Don’t do it!’ and I did it anyway; how can I let myself off the hook?” Learning to listen and act on our soul’s guidance is a process; it is not an automatic given that you will have the strength to do it before you are able to align yourself with your highest Self. The fact that you didn’t listen to your higher knowing simply means that you weren’t consciously there yet. I can guarantee that if you could have done any better, you would have.
Every decision you’ve made has been a result of where you were in that deciding moment – your beliefs, thoughts, feelings, previous experiences, specific circumstances, attitude, environment, familial patterns, triggers, current life lessons – it is all in play. The truth is that you’ve always been doing the best that you could, in every given moment.
What kinds of things do you feel guilty about? Past relationships? The way you raised your children? Actions you took that you felt harmed someone? Take a good look at your feelings of guilt. What things do you most regret and why? After you’ve spent a few moments reflecting, ask yourself this: “Did I learn anything from those experiences?” Chances are good if you think about it, you’ll definitely be able to see that some learning happened.
Right here, right now, you can let go of all guilt and regret. Claim that you’ve always just been doing your best, and let yourself off the hook. Say to yourself, “I’ve never done anything wrong. I’ve always been doing the best that I can.” Breathe it in. Know that from here on out, you never have to feel guilty again.
Many Blessings of Joy and Vibrant Freedom
Action Step ~ Let go of feeling guilty and regretful. Declaration: “Everything I’ve ever done has been Ok from my soul’s perspective; I’ve always just been doing the best that I can.”
Additional Support: Listen to this audio on Self-approval. This is a 7-minute closed-eye process; please refrain from driving while listening.