Have you ever found yourself out in public judging up a total stranger?

It seems so unkind and yet it happens all the time. Why? Because other people act as mirrors to our own, unconscious judgments.

I was slender for most of my life. I had a neutral awareness of many different body shapes and sizes. Since weight was a non-issue for me, I held no judgments toward others about their body size. Or so I thought… Several years ago, I was standing in line at the grocery store behind a very large woman in a pink muumuu. As I placed my goods on the conveyor, I looked at her and thought, “Wow. She is really fat.”

Now, I could have done a spiritual bypass and tried to convince myself that that was simply a discernment of fact, yet I felt the energy of judgment coursing through my body as I thought those words. My feeling barometer had swung into the negative and was loudly beeping, ‘Off-course! Off-course!’ It didn’t feel good, so I immediately owned it, saying to myself, “This is about me. This woman is presenting a mirror for my healing.” As soon as I owned the projection, my feeling barometer dropped into neutrality, and I felt much better.

When I got home, I was determined to face my self-judgment. Taking a big, fortifying breath, I quickly took off my clothing and stood in front of the full-length mirror.

Sure enough, there was a ring of pudge around my middle that I’d been steadfastly ignoring, hoping that if I didn’t acknowledge it, it might just go away. My arms were thicker, especially my upper arms. My bottom looked bigger & wider than I’d ever seen it. Without my full conscious awareness, I had gone from slim to somewhat heavier than I’d ever been in my life.

Doing my best to view this situation with neutrality, I thought about my recent lifestyle. I’d gone from physically active to more sedentary as I began counseling and writing full-time. This lack of physical activity had begun over a year and a half earlier. Wow! That was a long time for my body to go without enough exercise. No wonder I had stored a bunch of body fat around my middle. I owned this fully and viewed myself with compassion for my lack of self-awareness in this area.

By looking deeply at my projection of judgment, I realized that I had been unconsciously judging myself as fat for months now; it had been such an uncomfortable feeling that I had been stuffing it. I realized that I’d begun avoiding mirrors, dressing and undressing more quickly than usual, and exhibiting other weird behaviors to avoid thinking about my discomfort toward my new body size.

Deep down, under all of my denial, I had been saying to myself, “I am getting fat. Ugh! These pants don’t fit. Look at that stomach. Yeesh! I look awful!” I had been running a constant tape of self-judgment about my body shape, but I’d had the volume turned down so low I could barely hear it – that is, until the universe was thoughtful enough to place the woman in the pink muumuu so close I couldn’t miss the opportunity to hear my own judgment.

In order to fully own and clear the projection of judgment, I first had to update the irrationality that ‘fat is bad’, which I didn’t even know I had.

Next, I had to forgive myself for judging myself as fat, and to forgive myself for judging myself as neglectful toward my body. As soon as I forgave myself for judging myself, I was immediately able to move into action about it, coming up with a plan to do some yoga and fit some walks into my daily routine. By owning that projection of judgment, I brought valuable awareness to myself, and was able to move my life forward in a healthier, more Loving direction.

When you stay stuck in your judgment, you are saying “This is the way that it is.” From this place, there can be no movement, no change.

Is there a projection of judgment in your life that you’ve been holding onto that has been keeping you stuck? See if you can identify and own the projection. Be willing to look in the mirror.

For me, believing ‘I am fat’ kept me totally stuck in ‘I am fat’. If I could take that out of right/wrong reality that says ‘fat is bad’, I could see that it was Ok that I grew a little tire around my belly. From a place of non-judgment, now I had the power to do something about it if I wished.

Was I able to change my body shape? Absolutely. I was empowered to begin to be more aware of my body, to begin exercising more regularly and to take better care of myself. Most importantly, I was able to stop putting myself down and to feel good about myself again, which made me feel ten times lighter almost immediately.

Don’t let an old, unconscious judgment keep you down. Say, “I am done with staying stuck in old, unconscious judgments. I am now willing to look in the mirror.” You are so worth the liberation this will bring!

Many Blessings of Joy and Vibrant Freedom

Action Step ~ Decide to get unstuck from any old, limiting, unsupportive projections of judgment. Be willing to look deeply in the mirror and do whatever it takes to clear the projection fully.

Declaration ~ “I am now fully owning any old projections of judgment that have kept me stuck in the past. I am willing to look in the mirror and do whatever inner work is necessary to fully clear, heal and resolve my judgment.”

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