Do you ever think that someone is stupid, worthless, unattractive, not good enough or any other put-down? Do you ever think these types of thoughts about yourself?
If you are human, chances are pretty good you have lots of judgmental thoughts running through your mind, day in and day out. That’s totally normal. After all, most of us were raised with the right/wrong, fear-based perspective towards life.
Looking at the world through eyes of judgment was the only way to view the world when I was growing up. At home I learned about ‘ungrateful’, ‘sloppy’, ‘disobedient’, ‘brats’. In Kindergarten, I learned about ‘bad’, ‘rude’, “sassy’, ‘disrespectful’ children. At my brother’s Little League games I learned about ‘blind’, ‘crazy’, ‘incompetent’, ‘dirty’ referees. In grade school, I learned about ‘stupid’, ‘lazy’, ‘selfish’, ‘uncooperative’ children. And in high school art class I learned about ‘unimaginative’, ‘untalented’, ‘wasted’, ‘plagiaristic’, ‘nothings’. Who needed fossil fuels? By the time I was a teenager, I probably had enough judgment running through my body to single-handedly solve the energy crisis.
Possibly the most frequently entertained irrationality is the type based on harsh judgment. This kind of irrational thinking is critical, demeaning and involves a put-down of some kind toward self or others. ‘I am so stupid’, ‘He is such an asshole’, ‘Most people are totally ignorant’, ‘I am such a loser’, ‘People can’t drive worth a dang in the rain’, ‘______people are evil (fill in the blank)’… I could go on for days. These ideas are all examples of thoughts that are directly related to a feeling of judgment.
People who openly share their opinions and direct their judgmental comments toward others are often viewed as prejudiced, biased, bigoted and narrow-minded thinkers. The ironic part of having irrational judgmental thought-patterns is that while most of us are able to keep our mouths shut, we are the ones who are thinking ‘judgmental’, ‘prejudice’, ‘narrow-minded’, ‘racist’ thoughts about the people who actually verbalize their judgments.
If you heard any of the recent fallout surrounding celebrity chef Paula Deen, you know what I’m talking about. She received a huge public backlash of judgment after revealing some of her own judgmental thinking. Responding to judgment with more judgment is not an effective strategy for creating peace. From an energetic standpoint, it makes no difference if you judge people openly or judge people who judge people openly; either way you are still engaging in judgmental, irrational thinking.
What kind of judgments do you habitually run in your own thought process? Do you judge others, yourself or both? Take a few moments to reflect on this.
While all feelings are completely normal and acceptable, what makes a thought irrational is when you turn a temporary, fleeting feeling into a ‘being’ statement. The verb ‘to be’ is an indentifying verb that makes a statement about someone’s or something’s essence. So, thoughts or beliefs that begin with ‘I am’, ‘He is’, ‘She is’, ‘We are’, ‘They are’, and so forth are all saying that this is the way someone is. If you assign such permanency and identify yourself or others with these temporary feelings or judgments, you are not aligning yourself with truth, therefore not serving your greater good.
In order for any statement that begins with ‘I am’, ‘He is’, ‘People are’ to be based in rational thought, the statement must be indicative of the true essence of the subject being identified in the thought. With the knowledge of your true nature as a divine Being simply having a human experience, you can begin to let go of blanket statements about people, let go of prejudices, let go of stereotypical thinking, let go of believing your own judgments as ‘true’ and begin to live from a place that supports your authentic Loving essence to thrive.
When I catch myself in the ‘I am’ type of irrational judgmental thinking, I quickly forgive myself, state my updated belief about my true ‘I am’ nature as a Loving Being, and change the thought to an ‘I feel’ statement that is only temporary. Or I would use another word that separates the thoughts, words, appearances, feelings, behaviors or actions of the subject from the subject’s ‘Beingness’.
For instance, instead of thinking, ‘He is a jerk,’ I might decide to think, ‘He is acting like a jerk right now… and I know he is really a Divine Being just learning and growing.’ Instead of thinking, ‘I am ugly’, I could substitute, ‘I feel ugly right now’. This allows me to honor my feeling without placing any permanence on it. Instead of thinking, ‘I am fat’, I could decide, ‘I think I look fat in this outfit.’ This allows me to neutrally assess my appearance and change into something more flattering without getting down about myself. Lastly, instead of, ‘I am sick’, I may think a very fleeting, ‘I feel sick in this moment’. This allows me to acknowledge how I feel while viewing it as temporary, rather than as my identity or a permanent, fixed part of who I am. This way of thinking can be life-changing for people who have identified themselves as any sort of illness-related label in the past.
Let go of old, limiting beliefs based on judgments by separating the judgment from the Being. Say, “I now separate my judgment from a person’s Being, including my own Being.”
Many Blessings of Joy and Vibrant Freedom
Action Step ~ Let go of irrational beliefs based on judgment and use ‘being’ words to reflect truth. Declaration: “I now let go of viewing my temporary judgments as permanent, knowing that people are not their thoughts, feelings or actions. I now see all Beings, myself included, as divine Loving Beings having a human experience.”
Additional support: Listen to this 8-minute closed-eye process on identifying irrational ‘judgments’; please refrain from driving while listening.