I have a big confession to make. It doesn’t make me feel proud, but I have to come clean: I have been allowing my fear of public judgment and ridicule to hold me back from doing the work of my soul. Truthfully, I’ve allowed my fear to keep me acting small, silent, even cowardly. Admitting to this publicly is a step in the direction of making amends.
Fear of Public Ridicule
I’ve been aware that I’ve had a strong fear of public ridicule for over a decade. Little by little, I’ve been conquering this fear by stepping up and stepping out, teaching classes, workshops, giving talks, entering speech contests and doing a video blog. But despite my incremental forward movement, I was still holding myself back, afraid to engage in a real, honest, openly public manner. I kept my wisdom exclusively for my clients, students, friends and family.
A couple of years ago, an acquaintance asked me to donate money to a breast cancer walk-a-thon. I politely replied “No, thanks.” He was persistent, asking me why I didn’t think giving a few bucks toward finding a cure for breast cancer was a noble idea. I shared that I already knew how to naturally heal breast cancer, that that was one of my spiritual gifts. ‘Where is your book?’ he demanded. Slightly bemused by his intensity, I told him that although I had several books in progress, I hadn’t been seriously pursuing publishing yet.
He was Very Angry
He became visibly angry, practically bristling with ire. He looked me straight in the eye and said, “How dare you keep valuable information like that to yourself. My sister just died from breast cancer. She left my two small nephews motherless, my brother-in-law devastated…” He looked like he was ready to throttle me as he took a big breath and finished with, “If you know something that could have prevented her death, it is your God-given duty to share it.” Then he gave me one of the dirtiest looks I’ve ever received, shook his head in disgust and abruptly turned on his heel, leaving me standing there like I’d been speared through the gut.
The Defining Moment
That moment has haunted me, compelled me to speak up, propelled me to take action like no other memory or single life-event in my 50 year experience. I made a commitment to myself that night to muster the courage to do whatever I needed to do to step up, step out and speak my truth. In the time since, I have been doing my best to be visible, to engage, and to share my knowledge despite my fears. I must say that it has been a sharp learning curve.
They Called Me ‘Dumb as a Hammer’
My first few forays into the public eye on social media went about as well as I’d expected. I was called, among other things, ‘an idiot’, ‘delusional’ and, my personal favorite, ‘dumb as a hammer’. But a few people tasted a higher level of truth, so I considered my sharings a success. I persevered in speaking out on the subject of conscious healing.
To date, I think I’ve been called practically every vile name in the book, including most recently, a ‘fake’, ‘fraud’, ‘witch’ and ‘charlatan’. What’s been so great about this experience is that it’s forced me to learn that names truly have no power to hurt me. Neither do other people’s opinions, their unsolicited criticisms or their well-meaning advice to keep my mouth shut lest I be responsible for the death of thousands of innocents with my un-scientific methods.
I am Out of Silence
All I need to do is think of how many people die every day using today’s most popular treatments, and I am galvanized to get busy. Starting now, I cease withholding what I know about healing and commit to sharing widely. That doesn’t mean I don’t still acknowledge my fears – because a part of me is still terrified of public persecution; it just means that if I wait until I feel ready, I’ll stay silent my entire life. We get ready by doing. Right here, I am no longer sticking my toe in the water and pulling back because the water feels too cold or the waves look too rough. I’m running straight into the ocean, boldly diving in head first.
That’s it my friends – I am officially out of hiding. I am going all out here and asking for your help with spreading my work, because I can’t do this alone. My message is for those who are ready to learn a different way to heal – a healthy, peaceful, self-loving way based on Natural Law and Divine order. To help me share my message, please like my Facebook page https://www.facebook.com/CynthiaLLamb/ and please share my posts with your friends.
And, if you have a have a particular issue or disease you’d like to know more about how to heal, drop me a line at firstname.lastname@example.org – I’ll be happy to share about it in a future post. Thanks in advance for your support with getting this information out into the world.
Many Blessings of Joy and Vibrant Freedom,