Do you ever catch yourself still playing the role of the victim?
You will hear people everyday moaning and groaning, blaming and complaining about one thing or another. ‘The traffic made me late’, ‘I can’t help being cranky; I haven’t had any coffee yet’, ‘He told me blah blah blah – totally ruined my day’ or ‘I missed the winning lottery numbers by a hair; why is life so unfair?’
Victim mentality is a huge part of the human experience. In fact, most people upon the planet are still heavily engaged in victim or perpetrator mindsets, two sides of the same coin. As I was exploring my own personality, I found that many of my disowned aspects were stuck in the role of The Victim.
My Sexy Cyn felt that she was ‘less than’ as a woman, that she was weak and inadequate simply because she was born female. She saw herself as a victim of the male dominated world view and bought into the irrational beliefs that she needed a man to accept her, a man to approve of her, and a man to support her. She viewed herself as powerless and thought only men held any real power. When I was able to view her thought patterns, beliefs and behaviors with detachment and humor, I thought, ‘Really? Ew, yuck!’
My People-Pleaser/Helper felt like a victim of circumstance, that she was there to help everyone else, but that nobody wanted to help her. She saw herself and others as victims of misfortune, bad luck, poor timing and all sorts of other disasters. She habitually ran thoughts of ‘poor me’ or ‘poor them’, and viewed other people as powerless to help themselves. She was unable to own her projections of judgment and admit to viewing herself as powerless; instead, she viewed herself having the power to help in ways she viewed others as incapable. When I was able to view her thought patterns, beliefs and behaviors with detachment and humor, I thought, ‘Really? Ew, yuck!’
My Scaredy-Cat felt like a victim of abuse, afraid of her own shadow. She was frightened of loud sounds, raised voices, and any emotion remotely related to anger or upset of any kind, even frustration. She held beliefs that she was a poor, pitiful victim of other people’s rage and violence, and that the only way to stay safe was to hide, become invisible or cower in fear. She viewed herself as totally powerless, and all grownups as omnipotent. When I was able to view her thought patterns, beliefs and behaviors with detachment and humor, I thought, ‘Really? Ew, yuck!’
My Avoider felt like a victim of a cruel, demanding world. She was powerless in the face of tremendous pressure – pressure to conform, pressure to achieve, pressure to succeed. She viewed herself as incapable and helpless, and others as pushy, aggressive perpetrators of an unfair, unjust reality. Her view of herself as the victim allowed her to justify avoiding and procrastinating in nearly every area of her life. When I was able to view her thought patterns, beliefs and behaviors with detachment and humor, I thought, ‘Really? Ew, yuck!’
The role of The Victim is a strong archetype that permeated my personality, affecting the beliefs and patterns of many of my disowned aspects as well as my main personality, the face I regularly showed the world. It wasn’t enough for me to forgive myself for buying into the irrational belief that I was ever a powerless victim; I had to pour on the compassion and forgive myself for buying into that belief over and over again, in dozens of different areas, worded in dozens – maybe even hundreds – of different ways. I had to update my victim mentality as it related to each individual aspect of my character, depending upon what that part of me believed.
In which aspects of your own personality are you still playing the role of The Victim? See if you can identify some beliefs that stem from the victim mindset.
The victim mindset says that some people are stronger than others, some people are more powerful than others, some people have more clout, more importance or more capability than others. None of that is true, from your soul’s perspective. You are equal, on the Being level, to every other person ever born. All strengths are qualities of the Loving. If there is a quality you feel you are lacking, you can find the seed of it within yourself and begin to cultivate it, grow into it.
By discovering all of the ways I had viewed myself and others as a victim, I gradually stepped into my own authentic power. I now know that I am equally powerful as every other Being. Understand that no one else has the ability to empower you in any way – that idea supports that they are more powerful than you and will be giving you something that they have and you don’t. The truth is that on the Being level, your power is already equal; it is a done deal. So to empower yourself, all you have to do is claim the authentic power that is already yours. Say, “I am now letting go of the role of the victim and claiming my full authentic power.”
Many Blessings of Joy and Vibrant Freedom
Action Step ~ Go deeper into exploring the various ways you may have been playing the role of the victim. Apply compassionate self-forgiveness, update any irrational beliefs, clear any judgments and claim your full authentic power.
Declaration: “I am the only one who can empower myself. I am now freeing myself from the limitations of victim mentality. I now claim my full authentic power, knowing that I am equally as powerful, strong, capable as every other Being ever born.”