Do you ever compare yourself to anyone else and find yourself coming up short? Do you get down on yourself when other people around you seem to easily succeed or excel? Or, do you measure your looks, skills, talents or accomplishments up against other people’s and feel like a failure?
The feeling of ‘not as good as _____’ is a classic self-worth issue that permeates our society. Children are compared to other children almost from the get-go. “Bethie is crawling already; is James crawling yet? …No? Aww… that’s too bad.” Now James’ mother is frantically calling the Pediatrician to find out what’s wrong with James. By the time James is in Kindergarten, he’s pretty much cemented the irrational belief that he somehow doesn’t measure up to any of the other kids.
Not only do many parents unknowingly foster low self-esteem by engaging in comparison about their kids, schools, clubs, sports, organized religions, society and the media all reinforce the idea of one ‘standardized’ expectation of what, when and how a person should develop.
In a culture that rewards conformity, by the time you were a teenager you may have felt completely inadequate in some way if you failed to conform to the social ‘norm’. Even the most popular teens are obsessed with comparing themselves. Kids compare bodies, hair, clothing, grades, possessions – you name it! By adulthood they’ve added career, income, houses, cars, 401k… the list goes on.
Fortunately, your soul refuses to be ‘standardized’.
Here’s the deal: from the Loving perspective, you are incomparable to any other Being. There is nothing to compare because you are completely unique.
Picture the sun in your mind’s eye. Imagine the rays radiating out in all directions. Notice how each ray has its own, individual trajectory. Each ray is emanating in its own direction. You, too, are radiating in your own different direction. As a ray of Divine light, you are a unique, one-of-a-kind, individual Being. You are a rare and precious gem. You have your own special gifts, whatever they may be. You are who you are for a reason, and there is no one else who can do what you are here to do. You are the only emanation of you, the only expression of your particular essence that there ever has been and ever will be. You are IT.
What this means is that right here, right now, you can stop comparing yourself to anyone else, because you are uniquely different.
Take a deep look at your patterns of comparison. Where in your life have you been comparing yourself as ‘not good enough’? Who have you been measuring yourself ‘not as ______ as’? How has feeling that way been going for you?
If you are tired of feeling like you never measure up, I encourage you to reframe that idea, coming into the idea that there is nothing to measure, because there is no need to be the same as anyone else. Claim that it’s Ok to be different. Claim your uniqueness. From here on out, you can simply be the best you you can be, and let go of trying to be like anyone else. Because the truth is that you are a beautiful, rare and precious Being, and you are meant to be exactly the way you are right now. Whew, don’t you feel better already?
Many Blessings of Joy and Vibrant Freedom
Action Step ~ Let go of comparison and claim your uniqueness. Declaration: “I am a unique, divine emanation of Loving. All I have to do is be myself.”
Additional Support: Listen to this audio on claiming your uniqueness. This is a 9-minute closed-eye process; please refrain from driving while listening.